I've been on a hiatus...

I've been on a hiatus but I have some really great excuses!

Excuse #1: I'm pregnant! We found out we are expecting baby #2 and it's caused us to shuffle our lives around a little bit to start to prepare for the new arrival. Chucky's 11 months old and I'm due in September so I'm hoping they are going to be the best of friends! Another perk of having them so close together is that I haven't put any of the baby stuff in storage yet and now I don't have to!

Excuse #2: I'm pregnant! I know I just said that but this pregnancy was a lot harder on me than my last one and it put me out of commission for a few weeks. I was very sick and my hormones and this dreadfully long winter  worked together to make me severley depressed. I plan on writing a post about it soon but suffice it to say, it was not a pretty picture. But then... 

Excuse #3: Spring came! After being depressed and cold for so long this spring has been especially rejuvenating for me. I've been taking advantage of every warm day to go outside and soak up the sunshine and I've been using every rainy day to put my house back in order after a few months of neglect.

As you can see readers, I didn't just abandon my post here, I've been absent across all platforms, including real life, because I wasn't doing well handling the day to day. But I am better now and I am once again committed to providing you with as much fun content as I can put out.

I'm going to be honest though. I don't know how much I am going to be able to work on this blog. I love doing it and I find it to be a wonderful creative outlet but I'm sure life will overwhelm me and I'll be pulled away from the keyboard again. I want to make you a promise though: no matter what happens during the seasons of my life I will always come back. This exercise means a lot to me and even though the venture is still young it's something that's made me very happy so I am going to try to make it a priority.

I will try to warn you if I'm about to go dark though, I won't leave you hanging again :)

In short, I'm back!!

SQT: The One with the Back Problems, the Sleep Training, and the Secret, Unspoken Wish

Hello everyone! I'm linking up with Kelly over at This Ain't The Lyceum for a fantastic edition of Seven Quick Takes! 

For lack of time I will be giving you a brief overview of my week.

1.  When I was pregnant with Chucky I suffered from horrendous back pain and while it's gotten better since his birth, he is getting heavier (currently 23 lbs. and rising!) So those back problems have started popping up again. I finally went to a chiropractor and he took a look at me and suggested that I come three times a week for the duration. I would have told him that he was asking for an unreasonable commitment from me but then he adjusted my back and I fell in love. Maybe he'll be my Valentine??

2. Chuck went back to school this week (he's a physics student at NJIT) and it's bittersweet. I miss him but I don't miss him being around. All. The. Time. 

3. Alison's whole family has been crazy sick so they're in quarantine. Which is fine except she's usually my go to baby sitter and I've had all the chiro appointments... First they had a stomach bug now Tessa seems to have an ear infection and Tristan may be coming down with something! Needless to say, they are not allowed to breathe my air...

4. Chucky is now eight and a half months old and he hit a fun little sleep regression. He used to just pass out when I put him in his crib but now he treats us to a fun screaming session every time he naps or goes to bed at night. One night I fell asleep listening to the screaming at a weird angle and got a crick in my neck. Oh my... He is doing better though. He barely screamed at all last night so... that's progress people! 

5. I got my hair cut and now I feel like a real person again. Yay #mommyproblems!

6. I've been fighting off a very minor stomach bug all week. It's making me sad. And unable to clean my house. If anyone would like to volunteer for a job where you clean my house and get a firm handshake in return, it's all yours. 

7. Alison and I are working on some big things! I don't want to jinx anything so I'll just ask you for prayers, support and incense instead. Thanks in advance! 

How did your week go?

Winter Blues

If you’re reading this than I would like to congratulate you on surviving the Blizzard of 2015! Feel free to eat all the eggs, bread, and milk you bought without shame. 

Seriously though, that was some kind of let down. I grew up in sunny SW Florida so cold weather and snow were foreign concepts to me until a few years ago. I moved to NJ in December of 2007 and I never looked back. That first winter was particularly hard for me because not only was I lacking the necessary skill set to survive cold weather, I was also missing a very important factor: the clothes. For some reason puffer jackets and waterproof gloves just aren’t in high demand in Florida and while I knew that snow was frozen water it never occurred to me that when you try to build a snowman it’s going to melt and soak into your gloves and make you miserable until the feeling comes back to your fingers. I’m not even exaggerating.

Now that I have a few years of experience under my belt I feel like I know what to expect from this season. November and December are great because no matter how cold it is you can see the twinkly Christmas lights at the end of the tunnel. The week after Christmas is also tolerable because you have copious amounts of alcohol to look forward to on New Year’s Eve. The first week or two of January are OK because you have that resolution you’re working on and you’re chugging along with it. Than January 20^th(ish) hits and it’s like a brick wall.

Suddenly, there are no more holidays to look forward to, no resolutions to keep you going. There’s only a long dark road of overcast days and blustery nights. In past years I’ve dealt with it slightly better because I was working and no matter how low the thermometer goes you have to go to work but now that I’m a SAHM there’s nothing stopping me from sitting in my PJ’s and watching Dr. Phil all day. 

One of my favorite quotes.

I don’t have any tips for dealing with the winter blues. Even when I was working I didn’t handle it well and this year is proving to be almost too much for me. I’m trying to keep busy though. I try to limit screen time and spend my days reading, crocheting, or working on Pinterest projects. Having a reading list is especially helpful right now because I’m not motivated to find any new titles for myself but I have a list written up from when I was motivated. As much as I love to eat I’m trying not to spend my free time cooking because the last thing I need to be doing when I’m this sedentary is eating more. I also nap at least once a day. It’s a silly thing but those little naps rejuvenate me and help me handle the rest of my time better.

I would love some advice on surviving the dreariness. What do you do to combat the winter blues? 

SQT: How to Deal with Difficult People

How to Deal with Difficult People:SQT Edition

      When I say Difficult people I'm not talking about the crazy family we're forced to see during the holidays or at birthday parties. We all have a little crazy in us too so we have to expect that from others. I'm talking about THOSE people. You know.. the people who love to complain about everything and everyone, pick fights, and find pleasure in making you feel horrible about yourself. Yeah, THOSE people. They're usually selfish, opinionated, and very loud! Unfortunately, there is no reasoning with people like this. So I've made a seven quick takes on some tips on how to deal with difficult people like that. 

1. Bite Your Tongue. 

This is the most important tip. This does not make you a coward. It's easy to spew mean words when you're angry. It takes more strength to keep composure and walk away from hurtful words. We have willpower and can control our actions even if we can't control the actions of others. As an adult, being right shouldn't be so important to us that we go around arguing with everyone that does something you don't like especially when family is involved because it effects everyone around you. Debates are okay but insults are not.

2. Remember Everyone Has Their Own Demons. Be Forgiving!     

We never really know what battles people are fighting behind closed doors. Sometimes people where raised by mean parents and are following by example. Or sometimes people feel sad about their own unhappiness that they lash out and take a shot at yours It's not always easy to stop and try and relate and understand where the evil stems from. Some people cant help it because their minds are not well, so you have to try and forgive and not take it so personally.

3. Aim For Civility Not Friendship. 

When people are connected to you as family or through family it feels like you need to be friendly in order to keep the peace but you don't need to be friends with those people, you need to tolerate them. This means being civil by saying hello and making small talk about the weather or how work sucks. Once you open yourself up and get personal, you allow them to find a way to use it against you. Keep it nice but put your guard up. 

4. Limit Your Time Around Them. 

It's way easier to get along with someone difficult when you see them very sparingly. This will also help you with #1. Your patience becomes manageable when you know you only have a few hours to spend with them or you only have to see them at family gatherings. 

5. Do Good For Yourself.

Trying to be righteous and good all the time can be tiresome but it's important that we always continue to work on ourselves. We all have bad habits that we need to kick. For example, I like to gossip. I can't help myself sometimes, but I do make a conscious effort to stop myself because I know it's a terrible thing to do. We need to remind ourselves to be better. If you're a better person, then you can find peace in knowing that their harsh words are not true. Also, before you take anything to heart, ask yourself, " how well do they know me now?" We're always changing and kicking old bad habits. It still doesn't mean we're perfect, but do their words hold true anymore? I know I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago. We mature and sometimes you can't relate to people you used to. It's just the sad truth, but instead of getting mad at people who don't understand you, just remember that you're growing and no one can fault you for that.

6. Think Of Who It Would Effect If You Cut Them Out. 

Would it mean you could never talk to your sister again? Could it cause a divorce and split your family apart? These are things we should think of before we speak. Hurtful words can be forgiven but not forgotten. You can tarnish a relationship with insults. It's important to not be selfish and think about how this would affect your children. Them getting to see their family is worth putting aside hostile feelings. It's usually best to use #1 for everyone's sake. Don't make family gatherings unbearable. 

7. Cut Them Out!

This is a last resort. Sometimes there are just people too self-centered to reason with. They can't help but pick a fight because being right is way more important than getting along. People like this always find new ways to make you feel like a horrible person even when you know you're not. A thick skin will only get you so far. If all else fails... LET THEM GO! Even if it hurts and not because you're losing them, but losing something or someone they take with them. There are people just too stubborn and rude that you can't forgive another word. It's sad, but remember they did it to themselves. 

Do you have any tips or stories to share about dealing with people like this?

Pro-Life Straight Talk

This week we’re talking about some tough stuff here at Chasing Cousins. January 22^nd is the National Day of Prayer for Unborn Children. Men, women and children all over the country will be praying for all the children lost to abortion and for their mothers. Alison and I are joining them in their prayers and by providing content and links that have a pro-life message. 

Alison shared her story yesterday and we got a lot of positive responses and even a really interesting debate on one of our shares. I want to thank all of you who took the time to read it and to comment. I truly mean it when I say that we appreciate every single one of you. 

Although the response was overwhelmingly positive we did get some negative comments. I'm not talking about the lively debate on Alison's Facebook. Although heated I think it was a productive conversation (Thank you Nicole!) There were negative comments from a few people we knew and from a lot of people we didn't. To the people we don't know who were posting horrible things about Alison and her message I can only say that I am shocked and that your mothers should be ashamed of you. To the ones that we know, I am deeply hurt. 

Abortion is a touchy subject. We know this and we were expecting discussion and dissension. What we were not expecting is people name-calling or judging us. There's something deeply sinister about evil words splayed across a computer screen. The people writing them forget that those words are directed at a real live person, a person with thoughts and emotions. It's so easy to sit behind our keyboards and sit in judgement of those around us, even as we think to ourselves how open minded and kind we are. 

I had a whole post penned for today. It was about love, acceptance, and forgiving. I've decided to scrap the whole thing. I slaved over it and I am immensely proud of every sentence but now is not the time for it. I've known darkness, I grew up in it, but the depravity that I've witnessed over the past two days is more than I can bear.

So instead, I'm going to hold my son today and say a rosary. I am going to think of every evil thing said and I am going to pray for the person behind the words. I am going to attempt to forgive those people. I don't understand them, they are too far gone for that, but I will try forgiveness.

I'd like to ask you to join me in prayer for those poor souls. You don't have to pray the rosary. If you need some inspiration feel free to use the image below of the prayer to St. Michael (I'm borrowing the image from Kendra at Catholic All Year). If you don't pray than light some incense and send some good vibes out into the universe. We need good vibes, now more than ever.