Jessica Interviews Alison

Yesterday you all read the interview Alison conducted of me but today we learn more about her. These interviews were conducted live, on camera, and then transcribed onto paper so there’s a lot of laughing involved, mostly cause I’m so funny. #kiddingnotkidding (is that how hashtags work?) I also deleted a lot of ums. I hope you all enjoy the slightly edited, more streamlined version of our talk. Stay tuned for Alison’s first independent post, coming soon!

J: Hi!

A: Hi!

J: Are you ready for this? (starts singing the Jock Jams song)

A: *laughs* You just had to do it.

J: Yup. So whats your name?

A: My name is Alison Louise Fanelli…

J: Louise?! I didn’t know that.

A: You didn’t know my middle…

J: Yes I did.

*Both laugh*

A: I always wanted people to call me Weezy but it never caught on.

J: So how do I know you?

A: *laughs* You are my sister-in-law, we are married to brothers. You’re married to the oldest and I’m married to the middle child, Christopher. We are best friends…

J: You and Christopher?

A: No! Me and you!!

J: Oh. So how many kids do you have?

A: I have two children. I have Tristan, who is four, and Tessa, who is one and they take up a lot of my mind and they’re uh, crazy.

J: So which one’s your favorite?

A: Wow. What a question! I don’t know how to answer that question, they’re both so different. Um…

J: You don’t have to answer that question, it was a trick question. Just letting you know.

A: Oh, I was really going to start thinking about it.

J: No there’s no right answer to that question, whatever answer you give you’re wrong. So we’re just going to move on. *Alisons laughing* So what made you want to start a blog?

A: oh my goodness well I turned down the idea because I thought hmm... what can I really have to say that anyone would find interesting but you insisted that it would be good for us. Now that I’m doing it I think that we have a lot to offer. We have very interesting stories about how we became who we are and how we became mothers and I think we have a lot to offer.

J: So you say you’re riding on my coattails.

A: Yup.

J: I knew it. So how would you describe your parenting style?

A: Well, I’m very no nonsense. I love the word no. I love to tell them no. But it’s not always easy to be consistent. Sometimes my son acts crazy because he’s a boy and it’s hard to wrangle them up at four but I really do my best to try and make sure that he understands the word no. I don’t give them everything they want and I get them to learn that its ok to be disappointed because I don’t want them to be spoiled. I try my best and I think that I’m kind of strict but I’m very loving and sweet with them and I’m trying to get more structure in our life but I think overall they’re very happy kids and pretty well disciplined. Decently disciplined. You could take them out to a restaurant.

J: So long as you feed them.

A: Yea.

J: So how would you describe your marriage? Do you think you have a very traditional marriage, do you think you have a very modern marriage. How would you describe that relationship?

A: Well I think me and Chris’ relationship is very interesting because of our start. So, in a way, it’s very untraditional because we came together in this very chaotic way of having a baby so young but we came together and we got married and we wanted to do the right thing and start a family the right way and share a last name so in a way we’re kind of untraditional but we’ve made ourselves traditional and we kept it that way. And then we had another baby that we decided to have together. So we made it and our dynamic is really fun and we’re easy going and have all the crazy things that relationships have like arguing and fighting but we’ve made this crazy situation seem very calm and we’ve made it work for us and we’re going against the odds.

J: All right, so our readers are going to learn about this that you and Chris got pregnant before you got married but you got married while you were still pregnant so that was fun. I planned the wedding, it was beautiful. *both laugh*

A: and very fast.

J: Yes, it was very fast. Where do you think you would have been right now if all that had never happened?

A: Oh wow. That’s a really unanswerable question.

J: Well do you think you would have been in a good place or in a bad place?

A: Well honestly, as crazy as it seems everyone thinks that having a baby will ruin your life because, you know, that’s what all these people who decide not to have a baby when they get pregnant unexpectedly would say but I think that it gave me more purpose that it gave me a direction in my life. At twenty when you have no idea where you’re going and you’re not going to school. Some people know where they want to go and they have goals but I really felt like I was lost in where I wanted to go. We were both kind of floating around. I felt like having a baby gave us a purpose and it gave us some direction. Even my husband ended up getting a steady job, so now it gave us a road.

J: It’s like the pressure almost helped you become the people you needed to be.

A: Yeah. It helped us kind of decide. We just had to do it. We had to choose something instead of just saying “I’m 20, I have time maybe I’ll do this or maybe I’ll go to school.” I went to bartending school, who knows what I wanted to do. I was working three jobs, going nowhere, it was just really, I was more sad when I wasn’t pregnant. Yea, it was crazy but now, looking back on it, it was a great experience, it led me to a wonderful life.

J: And your own blog.

A: Yeah!

J: So we are going to learn all about your many, many strengths in the writing of this blog which would include like, flower arrangements and finishing Jessica’s projects *laughs* but what would you say your biggest weakness is? The thing that you want to make better throughout the course of your life?

A: Umm… well, I struggle a lot with habits. And this is what kind of scares me about a blog is that I need to find time to make sure that I do this every day and I’ll get really into something, and I’m like “Oh! I’m going to floss my teeth everyday.”

J: Oh, are you still doing the coconut oil pulling thing?

A: No! See? That’s what I’m talking about! *laughing* It’s like, I get into these things where I’m going to make my life better and I’m going to do this everyday, I’m going to floss. I do it for two weeks and then I give up. And then I just move on to another habit. I have trouble sticking with things and I’m very “I love this!” and “Now I love this!” For example, I’ve never had one favorite band that I’ve loved forever.

J: That’s cause you’re a hipster.

A: Even before my alternative indie music, even before that. For example, Coldplay is one of the bands I’ve always loved since high school. I follow them but I don’t go to every Coldplay concert and have every CD.

J: Like I am with Coheed and Cambria.

A: Yeah. But music isn’t your bond with Chuck. Music is me and Chris’ bond so we take music and we find new things and we find a way to bond over that. Music is one of my favorite things and I still can’t even find one thing that makes me stick for too long. That’s my weakness is that I can’t keep with things so I’m hoping that doing this with you might motivate me to do more.

J: That’s what I’m hoping too. I like the idea of a blog I just don’t have the wherewithal.

A: Yea we can kick each others butt. So if you don’t feel like writing than I can write a post and if I don’t feel like writing you can write.

J: I’m not picking up your slack we haven’t even started yet! *laughs*

A: *laughs* I just said I would take yours if you didn’t want to.

J: Arright. What is something fun that I personally don’t know about you?

A: Hm… *dumbfounded look*

J: That’s a trick question I know everything about you. *laughing* What are you most excited about blogging… about?

A: I’m really excited to share my voice. I want to help mothers because I do things with my kids and I find that it really works for me. I get so excited and I want to share my experience. I have advice I want to give but I don’t want to give it forcefully, I don’t want to pressure people so I think the blog is a good neutral place to write it all down and people can take it or leave it. It makes me excited that I could help someone unexpectedly.

J: As far as newborn experiences, cause I’m new to this game, but I don’t like newborns. They’re cute but they only sleep and they eat far too much and their poop is ridiculous. Do you think you fared better with the second newborn than with the first and in what way was it different and what would you go back and tell yourself?

A: Oh my goodness… we said this just the other day that I can’t compare Tristan and Tessa because the experiences were so different. I was 21 years old with Tristan and so unprepared. I knew nothing about kids but he was such a good baby it was lucky for me that he was like that. I didn’t have to worry about “Oh my God! What am I gonna do!” He just kind of did it for me which was really helpful. I asked questions here and there but I really loved trial and error. As much as I loved when people would give me advice and I’d say “Yeah, ok.” But I really loved trying things myself and being hands on and seeing what he liked and what he didn’t like and if he didn’t like something then I’d try something else and see if he slept longer. I really tried to do that. Then with Tessa, I knew what I was going to do and I thought that I knew everything. Then she ended up doing everything differently! So just when you think you know babies they surprise you. So I thought I was going to be a pro. Some of the things were the same and some of the things were completely different. But I felt way more confident to try new things. So I was still somewhat scared doing it again and newborns aren’t really my favorite. They sleep a lot but I don’t know… I love my four year old because we get to play and he gives me kisses and he tells me I love you and newborns are just kind of boring.

J: I don’t know if boring’s the word…

A: *laughs* They’re a lot of maintenance but all they do is sleep and they don’t interact with you…

J: Yeah, yeah I just remember not sleeping. So boring… for me at least it was not boring. *feigns exhaustion just thinking about it*

A: Both of my kids slept through the night by 8 weeks so for me, the sleep wasn’t even a big deal. So it was hard for eight weeks but then lots of sleep and lots of chores. Cleaning up lots of clothes and doing lots of laundry.

J: How great is it having a washer and dryer?

A: I know right! God, it’s so helpful.

J: So I realize this is probably late since, you know, we already started a blog but do you even like to write? Is this the medium you would have chosen to get your voice out there or are you going to start nagging me to start a podcast?

A: Well I do like the sound of my own voice so that’s a good idea. You are so full of good ideas.

J: Naturally.

A: I don’t know if I like to write. I definitely know that I’m not as good of a writer as you. *Jessica frowns* I’ve always journaled and when I go back and read them I think to myself “This isn’t so bad, I have some good ideas.” When I went back to school I really enjoyed my writing class but I feel like I use a thesaurus a lot and it’s not easy for me to put my thoughts down on paper.

J: So at the very least this is going to be an interesting exercise for you.

A: I think a blog is going to be a fun way to express myself.

J: I think you’re going to end up surprising yourself with your content. If you write the way you talk you’re going to impress yourself. Trust me on this, I’m the one with the great ideas. I’m just about finished but my last question is: How great am I? Just go ahead and tell me, like on a scale of 9.9 to 10 how great am I? *laughing*

A: Are we still recording?

J: Yes.

A: Well, I just have to say that you always come up with the greatest ideas and I love how creative you are…

J: There’s a but.

A: *laughs* No, no I’m going to keep this very civil. You push us to do things that are out of our comfort zones.

J: Out of your comfort zones.

A:*laughs*

J: So, this was fun, maybe we will do a podcast in the far, far, far future. For now though, we’ll enjoy ourselves writing about the nonsense that makes up our lives in the hopes that someone out there is desperate enough to read it.

A: Great job insulting our readers already.

J: My pleasure.

 Look at the picture again. Did you notice it's backwards? I told you I was funny.