My Pro-Life Journey

      This week at Chasing Cousins our topic is the Prayers for Unborn Children, January 22.  This is a topic very close to my heart, for personal reasons that don't stem from faith.  Most of you may know me and my story of motherhood, but for those of you who don't, I became a mother at the young age of 20. 

      Tristan was conceived the summer of 2009.  I was only out of high school two years and was still so young and naive.  I had no direction in my life. I worked hard to live on my own but didn't have a career or even an idea what I wanted out of life.  Imagine how scary it was finding out I was going to become a mother.  I could barely take care of myself, let alone another human being!  But for some reason, a trip to Planned Parenthood was never an option that came to my mind.  

      I'll never forget talking to the doctor, she said "your pregnancy test came back positive."  My mind was trying to process this huge, life changing information.  What I find interesting was my words were "so I'm having a baby?"  In my mind the fetus was already a person.  I thought of the final outcome; I imagined me holding a child.  I was only eight weeks pregnant, but I knew pregnancy led to an infant, something we learn in school.  I never thought that my life was more important than that soon to be child. It never occurred to me that I'm not ready to give up my life to figure out my goals and turn 21 and have fun and enjoy life before I have to settle down.  I had already made the irresponsible decision when I didn't use contraception.  This was my consequence to my carefree actions and I needed to stand up and get my life together quick so this child could have a good life.  It wasn't easy but it wasn't about me anymore.  I had to prepare for a new journey.  

      I know why people want to keep the option open.  It's convenient to feel like you have a way out.  Like that tiny fetus won't eventually become a child, a person with a heart just like we did as a baby.  A brain that will be able to have interests and ideas that will develop just like ours did.  Their journey to life has started just as ours did and we've had this great opportunity to experience life, and so should they.  

      I can't even imagine my life without Tristan.  He WAS that little bean at my 12 week ultrasound.  Now he's four and is a person.  He is obsessed with cars, loves playing video games, and makes friends everywhere we go.  He affects so many people's lives with his beautiful soul and loving personality.  If I decided my life was more important he never would've had that chance.  

      I know how it feels to be in that undesirable position. I know how it feels to be scared and disappointed with your decision. It's frustrating when you know it was easily preventable. But it's normal to go thru struggles in life and how you deal with them defines who you are.  It's not always about what makes life easiest for you.  People don't want to deal with bad consequences, even when it's morally wrong.  A life is a life, whether you put it there on purpose or not is irrelevant.  People need to open their eyes and their heart.